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Dear Sales Person,

I feel fat and bloated.

It’s because you have been forcing me to gorge myself lately.

Things have got to stop for the good of our health.

But there’s a major problem – I suspect we have a ‘feeder’ for a manager.

Who keeps insisting you fill me at every opportunity.

It makes me much slower than I used to be.

And I need way more of your care and attention than I used to require.

This means I waste much more of your time than I should.

I’m certain I was more useful to you when I was slim and trim.

Being twice as big as my target was OK. But then it went to three times, then four, now five and sometimes six times!

I’ll make like Mr. Creosote (wafer thin mint anyone) and explode at this rate.

But it makes no difference, they insist you just keep feeding me.

It’s led to constipation.

I’m serious.

Everything goes in the top but nothing’s coming out the bottom.

So I have a new year’s wish...

Please be more discerning what you’re feeding me.

HINT: I much prefer quality over quantity.

Best regards,

Your Sales Pipeline